10 Lessons from 30 Years of Being a Priest
On 13 January, I’ll mark thirty years of priestly ministry. I say mark rather than celebrate because I tend not to make a big deal of the anniversaries of my ordination beyond giving thanks in my prayers and ending the day by raising a glass of a good single malt to the Almighty. I plan to do the same next week.
Thirty years is long enough to pick up a few bad habits, a couple of decent ones, and just enough perspective to realise how wrong you were at the beginning. So, for this week’s Well-Tempered, here are ten things I’ve learned along the way.
1. Be Yourself
One of the most damaging mistakes priests make is trying to live up to an ideal of priesthood that has little to do with who they actually are. These ideals are often more cultural than theological. Know your duties. Take them seriously. Learn from others. But be yourself. God has already taken your personality into account.
2. You’re Part of the Congregation
The moment you start imagining yourself as standing apart from the congregation, you begin turning into something faintly alarming called a leader, and you also start down the road to loneliness. Priests are sheep temporarily deputised to help shepherd other sheep—and just as prone to wandering off. Jesus leads. We mostly help people to follow.
3. You’re Not the Messiah
Closely related to the above is the persistent idea that the priest is, if not the Messiah, then at least something a lot like him. Others may encourage this delusion. Resist it firmly. There is only one Messiah, and he doesn’t need your help.
4. Get Out of the Way
Your congregation and the Church don’t depend on you (see point 3). As my father used to say, Christ is the rector; you’re never more than his curate. Much of faithful ministry consists in knowing when to step aside so others can flourish. You’re not a manager, and your church isn’t a project.
5. Never Lose Sight of Pastoral Care
The only way to know your people is to be with them—at kitchen tables, hospital bedsides, gravesides, and in the everyday muddle of life. Everything else, apart from prayer and worship, is secondary. You’re part of the flock. Smell like it.
6. Don’t Be a Martyr
Priestly ministry is holy work. It’s also tiring work. You’re finite. You have limits. Learning to say ‘no’ isn’t a failure of love; it’s often the only way to keep loving at all. If you hear yourself boasting about not taking time off then immediately refer again to point 3 above.
7. Keep the Wells Topped Up
Prayer and study aren’t optional extras for priests; they’re how the engine keeps running. Scripture, if nothing else, should be a constant companion. Prayer and study belong together: the Daily Office shaping the imagination, study becoming an extension of your prayer-life, and both preventing your ministry from becoming thin, stale, or recycled like last year’s sermons.
8. Jesus Still Rides an Ass
My Christian ethics professor used to say that Jesus rode an ass into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday—and he’s been riding an ass ever since. The Church is messy, frustrating, occasionally absurd, and never quite what you hoped it would be. A perfect Church would be far too good to include you. Or me.
9. Priestliness Is Seasonal
There will be times when God feels distant and prayer feels dry. Don’t panic. There will be times when prayer feels easy and God feels close. Don’t get too excited. Be grateful for both. Keep saying your prayers. Keep serving your people. Your ministry isn’t a manifestation of your interior weather.
10. Have Fun
Being a priest is an extraordinary privilege. You’re invited into moments of great joy and moments of terrible grief. You get a front-row seat to humanity in all its fragility and splendour. You’re anchored—at least in theory—in a community of love. So enjoy it. Take the work, but never yourself, seriously. Avoid solemnity and earnestness like you do creating rotas.
Thirty years on, I’m more convinced than ever that priesthood is mostly about being faithful to God and your people. Or, to put it another way: show up, say your prayers, love God and your people (and be seen to do both), and try not to get in the way of God doing what God’s been doing all along.
Superb ….thank you Mark. 🙏🏽
in terms of leading worship I’d add the words of John the Baptist “He must increase and I must decrease.” I try and hold back a bit when presiding so that’s the worship doesn’t become about “me” getting in the way of Christ.